


The Librarian

by Aida_Trevelyn



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Books, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Kissing, Librarians, Libraries, Library Sex, Mage Rebellion, Mage Rights, Mages, Masturbation, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-09-23 11:47:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9656201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aida_Trevelyn/pseuds/Aida_Trevelyn
Summary: Romance between Anders and Breanna Hawke, a female Warrior who also happens to be a Librarian with the Chantry. My ode to Anders and all his hotness. Yay mages!





	1. Breanna

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my brilliant beta HQuinn (http://archiveofourown.org/users/HQuinn/pseuds/HQuinn). Thanks for all the help!

My name is Breanna Hawke, and I am the oldest of three children. I live with my mother, brother, and sister in Lothering. I am a petite and curvy girl, and I stand only about five foot four. I have boy-cut short red hair and deep blue eyes. My father Malcolm was an apostate who had lived in the Circle in Kirkwall and fell in love with my mother, a non-magic noble. Her family disowned her when she eloped with my father. We spent most of my childhood on the run from the Templars, until about ten years ago, when we settled in Lothering. I was always a precocious child and learned to read at age three, so when I wasn’t outside playing, my nose was usually buried in a book. At age ten, my mother thought she should put my intelligence to good use and asked one of the Chantry sisters to take me under her wing. I soon started volunteering at the local Chantry library, shelving the books. By the time I was fifteen, I was pretty much running the library, organizing it and distributing the books to the general public and any visiting scholars.

I have always been a bit of a tomboy, ever since I was about five. As a result, everyone in Lothering just started calling me by my surname Hawke, and it stuck. So it’s usually what I use when I introduce myself to new people. When other girls, like my sister Bethany, were learning how to sew and cook, I was climbing trees and starting fights with boys. I just got along better with them. Girls, as a general rule, were too complicated and fussy for me to deal with.

  
When my father decided to teach my sister, brother and I how to defend ourselves, my younger brother Carver and I wanted to learn how to fight with a sword. I’m sure it was pretty amusing watching me trying to wield a sword and shield, being as short as I am, and even more so when I decided to use two-handed swords like my brother. With lots of practice, however, I quickly built up the upper body strength necessary to wield such a big weapon. Sword-fighting was one of the few things we could work on together without fighting. We would often spar with each other in the fields surrounding Lothering. Bethany was a mage like Father, and he taught her how to use fire and healing magic, just like he had learned in the Circle all those years ago.

Our father doted on me the most out of all three of his children and Carver was always jealous of me. I think Father liked me best because our personalities were so similar. We were both sarcastic extroverted individuals, who also liked to relax by reading. Carver was always adored by our mother and he was her golden child, being the only boy. He always thought he was overshadowed by me and acted like a spoiled shit because of it. Carver was killed by an ogre that attacked us with a legion of darkspawn during our escape from Lothering during the Fifth Blight, which had been overrun by the creatures. He tried to be a hero and foolishly charged ahead, trying to attack it singlehandedly and got his brains bashed against the ground in compensation. The ogre discarded his useless broken body on the ground after he was done, as an afterthought. My mother blamed me for his death, and I responded by running up behind it to stab it through the heart, and then turning to go kill some more darkspawn.

Eventually though, we were overrun by the creatures until out of nowhere this gargantuan purple female dragon suddenly swooped in and blew them all away with her fiery breath, picking several up and dropping them from a great height. She landed and changed into a forbidding older woman with these incredible layered pointy greaves on her legs, that I was seriously lusting after. She acted as if changing from a dragon and back to a woman again was the most natural thing in the world. “Man, she is a total badass! I want to be her when I’m older,” I thought to myself when she sauntered towards us and explained that she was called Flemeth and she would save our butts by taking us to Gwaren where we could catch a ship to Kirkwall, as long as we took an amulet to a clan of Dalish outside of the city. We readily agreed and were on our way.


	2. Welcome to Kirkwall!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our heroine finally arrives in Kirkwall, gets the official welcome to the city, and tries to figure out what to do.

Most people did not have a rosy view of Kirkwall. They usually call it “the most wretched hive of scum and villainy,” and moved on to a much nicer part of the Free Marches like Starkhaven or Ostwick. I, however, saw it a bit differently because of our experiences in the city. It became my home, albeit a bit reluctantly due to the way we left Lothering, for the next eight years. 

 

Bethany, Mother and I traveled with Aveline, a former soldier in King Cailan’s doomed army. Carver had been in the army as well. Aveline had been married to Wesley, a Templar, and we had met both of them on the road from Lothering. She had had to kill Wesley after he had become tainted by the darkspawn as we were first coming down the road towards them. It was the hardest thing she ever had to do, and I know she thought of it and him frequently as the years rolled on. 

 

We spent weeks on the boat on the way to Kirkwall, traveling on choppy seas where I spent most of the time heaving my insides out, before finally arriving at the Twins of Kirkwall. Even though the city looked gray and oppressive, I was glad to finally be on land again. I could’ve kissed it if it wasn’t crawling with unbathed fellow Fereldens, desperate for a chance to get into the city. We eventually met up with good ol’ Uncle Gamlen, who promptly told us that there was no family fortune because he had gambled it away, and that Bethany and I would have to be indentured servants to whatever lowlife happened to accept us into their service. Mother was less than thrilled to say the least. The lowlife turned out to be Athenril, an elven smuggler, who we worked for a year with before finally getting our freedom. We got slightly better armor and weapons, and of course loads of experience fighting, so it wasn’t a total waste of time. 

 

Bethany and I were still destitute and now we are trying to impress Bartand, the head of a dwarven merchant family, who is planning an expedition to the Deep Roads. 

 

                “C’mon, we have experience fighting the darkspawn!” I tell him emphatically, trying not to sound too hopeless. 

 

               “Yeah, you and every other Ferelden who is desperate to get out of the slums. Now go away!” he badmouths at us, going off in a huff.

 

               “What are we going to do now, Breanna?” whines Bethany, “We need to get him on our side to succeed and get the heck out of Lowtown!”

 

  
               I sooth her by saying, “I know Bethany, don’t worry! We’ll think of something.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just had to use that quote from Obi-Wan Kenobi in "Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope", as it was just too good not too. Plus it is actually a half-decent description of Kirkwall. 
> 
> The first couple of chapters will be short, but I promise they will get longer.


	3. The Dashing Storyteller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet Varric and he convinces Hawke to try again with Bartrand.

The next thing I know my pocket is being picked by an anonymous thief stalking through Hightown and then thrown back at me by a dwarf with an impressive display of chest hair. The dwarf had strawberry blond hair pulled back and several earrings. He is wearing a long brown leather cloak, black leather pants and boots, and a richly embroidered deep v-necked red tunic. An intriguing character to say the least, and that’s not counting the enormous crossbow he’s got over his shoulder.

 

                                 He smiles at me with a cocky grin. “My name is Varric Tethras and you will have to excuse my brother Bartrand. He wouldn’t know a good thing if it hit him square in the face.”

 

                                “And you would?” I enquire warily. I've been in this city long enough to be careful how I deal with people. 

 

                                 He gives me a knowing look before continuing: “I know a good deal when I see one. You need to think outside the box. Bartrand doesn’t need hirelings, he needs a partner. All you have to have to do is put down fifty gold sovereigns, and he won’t be able to say no to you.”

 

                                “Oh yeah, let me whip out that to you right now,” I said snarkily. “C’mon if we had that much money, we wouldn’t need to beg a job from your brother!”

 

                               “It will be worth it, trust me. And in the meantime, I will join your on your adventures,” he assures me.

 

I figured, what the heck, sounds like fun. I agree to his plan and the three of us head for The Hanged Man, the tavern where Varric lives to discuss some details. I’m not one to judge people, especially as we live with Gamlen, who gambled away my grandparent’s house to slavers. The expedition needs a route into the Deep Roads from the Free Marches, but most of them are blocked. He knows of someone who might be able to help us, a Grey Warden.

 

                               “Can we trust a Warden?” I ask cautiously, as I’ve heard the stories about Warden Commander Sophia Dryden and her banishment from Ferelden for plotting against the king, from histories found in the Lothering Chantry.

 

                               “I’m not sure, but I know where we can ask to find him,” Varric retorts and we head off to the Viscount’s Keep to pick up our friend Aveline who was working with the guards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Varric, he seriously is one of my favorite characters in the Dragon Age series. I wish they would let him become a romance-able character, especially now that Bianca is out of the picture (the real person, not the crossbow of course). 
> 
> I do not own the Dragon Age II dialogue, that belongs to Bioware as does the original characters and most of the situations.


	4. The Warden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breanna Hawke finally meets Anders and she is pretty smitten.

Aveline, Varric, Bethany and I all head to Darktown, the former sewers and mines of the Kirkwall, that now house hundreds of Ferelden refugees. “Look for the hanged lantern on the wall” was what the lady in the shop in Lowtown had said, and we finally find it in a back corner. We walk inside to see a blond-haired man using magic with his hands to heal a young boy. Most mages don’t need staffs, it just helps them focus their magic better (you pick up a few things when you live with them all the time). I have a little time to observe him while we’re waiting and I must say I like what I see. He is very tall and lanky, with dirty blond hair hanging in wispy strands around his face and the rest pulled back. He looks like he hasn’t shaved in several days. He is wearing a short green jacket with a feathered-overlay, a longer pieced brown leather jacket underneath held together with straps and buckles, and a long gray tunic underneath that. Black leather boots bring it together. After taking a break to catch his breath, you really need to after expelling all that magic, he grabs his staff and whirls around to face us. Anger is evident in his features.

 

                                  “Are you coming to take me back to the Wardens? I hate them, they made me give up my cat. Poor Ser-Pounce-A-Lot!” he tell us in a rush.

 

I try not to laugh at his exclamation and calmly tell him that we’re planning an expedition to the Deep Roads and need his Warden maps to find an appropriate entrance. He is wary of us, but needs our help to spring one of his mage friends, Karl, out of the Chantry. We agree to meet up with him at night, and quietly sneak into the church. Karl is talking in a monotone voice when we finally catch up to him, and Anders quickly realize that he has been turned Tranquil, silenced from all his magical powers forever and cut off from the Fade, so he can’t even dream. I’ve heard my sister and father talking about this enough to know what it is and my heart goes out to him, as it is obvious from the way they are talking to each other that they had a special relationship.

The Templars, of course, have been waiting for us and attack us on sight. Thankfully swinging a giant two-handed sword does have its benefits and they are quickly dispatched with all of us working together. Aveline is not happy killing Templars, as her husband Wesley used to be one, but she keeps her mouth shut for now. Anders’ whole body flashes with this bright blue light as they attack, which I’ll be honest, kind of freaked me out. I push this thought aside as we are fighting for our lives. Afterwards, Karl suddenly starts talking to us normally and says “it felt as though you brought a little piece of the Fade with you, Anders” but says this respite won’t last long and soon he’ll be back to his Tranquil state. He begs Anders to end his life, and I convince him to do it because as Bethany always says, “Being Tranquil is a fate worse than death.” He begrudgingly agrees and gives Karl a merciful death, even though I can see how much it broke his heart to do so.

Once back at Anders’ clinic, he explains about Justice, the spirit turned into Vengeance, that lies inside of him. I can see how hard it is for him to explain this and I tell him to take his time and I’ll listen to anything he has to say. I can tell this is not the usual reaction he gets, and is taken aback. I’m sure he is used to people being repelled by him being a mage.

 

                         “I’m sorry you had to go through that, but I’m glad you were able to help him. At least you have that whole sexy tortured look going for you,” I tell him, stepping a little closer.

 

                         “Maybe I should look in the mirror more often then...My maps are yours, as am I...if you wish me to join your expedition,” he responds hesitantly.

 

                         I break out in a big grin and say “I would be happy for us to join us, the more the merrier.”

 

  
As living in Lowtown with Mother, Bethany and Uncle Gamlen is depressing at the best of times, I find myself dropping by Anders place more and more in my off hours. I like watching him heal people and it feels good to help people, whether it is feeding refugees or organizing potions and bandages - after years of working in Chantry libraries, I’ve become quite good at organization. After we’ve gone on a few adventures to make money for the Deep Roads trip, together with my sister and Varric, I head back to his clinic to talk.

 

                        “I had a friend like you once, got me into all sorts of trouble. Didn’t think I would find that again,” Anders tells me with a small smile one afternoon. He becomes more serious when he continues with, “I also wanted to apologize for getting so heavy with the stuff about Justice.”

 

                       “I have a very trusting face, people are always stopping me on the street to tell me their deepest darkest secrets,” I reply a bit flirtatiously.

 

                       “You definitely look like...something. True, proud and honest, no matter what, even if you didn’t agree with me,” he acknowledges a bit reluctantly, like he’s not sure what to make of me, or scared to admit out loud in any case. “I just didn’t want to seem too selfish when I was talking about Justice. I thought having a willing host would be better than the spirit turning into a demon. I meant well by it,” he confesses.

 

                      “We can’t always predict the outcome of our actions, but we must make them with a true heart,” I reply rather solemnly, but I mean what I say.

 

  
                     “Beautiful, wise and kind. You must have made some deals with some demons, yourself,” he retorted jokingly, then suddenly looks a bit shy. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t presume. We’ve hardly met and I feel like I’ve known you forever.” Hesitantly he asks, “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

 

                    “You just keep telling me I’m beautiful and kind and we’ll be just fine. You can’t go wrong with that,” I say with a wink.

 

                   “Oh, I’m sure I’ll be more creative than that,” he replies salaciously. Suddenly his expression changes to wariness and he tells me “No, I shouldn’t do this, I’ll only hurt you.”

 

                   “Why should you hurt me?” I query.

 

                    He walks away from me a bit, and turning around says “You saw what I did at the Chantry, that’s who I am. He sits down and continues to not look me in the eye. “I could’ve done this a year ago, before Justice, but now I’ll just break your heart. And that might kill me as sure as the Templars,” his eyes close as he tells me the last part, and he is in obvious distress. I don’t want to upset him further, so I leave and head to my job at the Chantry. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love it when Anders is getting to know Hawke and it’s so obvious that he likes her, but is trying so hard not to, especially as he believes it will ultimately hurt her. Which really, should indicate “giant spoilers ahead”, but I still love romancing him despite that.


	5. The Chantry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breanna gets another job at the Chantry, meets Sebastian Vael and solves a problem for him with the help of her friends.

Because we had two apostates in the family growing up, no one was ever a big fan of the Chantry or attended services. I was a special case as I worked in the Chantry Library, which brought in a little extra income for the family in addition to potions Bethany made and sold or manual labor Carver begrudgingly performed for Old Man Barlin in Lothering. I got to know Chantry Law and History, and the Chant of Light very well this way. So when we first got to Kirkwall, in-between smuggling operations for Athenril, I went to the Chantry to see if I could get a job in their library. Every Chantry had one, even the podunk one in Lothering, and since Kirkwall was a real city, theirs was enormous. I told them of my experience at the library back home and they hired me temporarily to make sure I could do the job. In no time at all, I was working four hours a day there. One day, while shelving some parchments on Chantry law, I came across a man in a back corner saying the Chant of Light quietly to himself while holding one of the biographies of Andraste. He looks up smiling at me and introduces himself.

 

                              “My name is Sebastian Vael, and I am a member of the Starkhaven Royal Family. My father rules there as the Prince. I am a Brother here at the Kirkwall Chantry. I’ve not see you before in here, are you new?”

 

I try not to lose my cool when I talk to him as Sebastian is a very attractive man and it makes me very homely in comparison. He is a tall olive-skinned man with reddish-brown hair swept back and piercing blue eyes. He speaks with a slight brogue, evidence of his being from Starkhaven. He wears gleaming white armor over tightly woven chainmail, with a black leather tunic with a fur collar and black leather pants underneath. Sebastian has a quiver of arrows and a longbow slung across his back. He has very toned proportions and it is hard not to notice them, as that is probably why his armor is so figure-hugging. Sebastian knows he looks good and puts it to good advantage. An image of him wearing that armor in a confessional flashes briefly through my mind and I try very hard not to dwell on that image. He also wears an enormous belt buckle with the face of the Blessed Andraste, and I try not to laugh at the sight of it. It makes me feel like he is compensating for something, and that immediately halts my imagination on other matters. 

 

                            I calm myself enough to respond: “I’ve been working at this library for about two months. I escaped the Blight in Ferelden and came here from a small town called Lothering. My name is Breanna Hawke, but everyone just calls me Hawke. Is there anything I can help you with?”

 

                          He smiles warmly and says “No thank you Hawke, I am just killing some time before I can go do some archery practice behind the Chantry. I like to come in here to relax beforehand.” His kindness throws me a little bit, as most of the people I’ve met in Kirkwall are pretty hostile towards Fereldens, but maybe he feels out of place here too. Or more likely, it is because he is a Brother of the Chantry.

 

                          “I’ll see you around here another time then,” I say to him, going back to cataloguing the latest volume of Brother Genitivi’s work.

 

I don’t see him again till a few months later, when Anders, Varric, Aveline and I are walking together, heading towards the Chantry, and he suddenly appears having an argument with Grand Cleric Elthina. I can only hear snippets of the their conversation, but it is obvious he is upset about something as he shoots a piece of paper she holding onto the bulletin board outside. The Chantry uses it for odd jobs around the city, and my companions and I will often do them when they pop up.  When they leave, we walk up to the board and see that the paper is a notice from Sebastian about his family being murdered by a mercenary band named Flint Company. I had heard rumors that something had happened to them, but I didn’t know him well enough to really offer him my condolences. He offers a reward to anyone who will help him find and get rid of them. We take it with us and hunt the three bands of mercs down in and around Kirkwall, and then I charge up to him inside the Chantry.

 

                      “We’ve taken care of Flint Company for you,” I grandly announce. “I hope this will give you some piece of mind. I know how it is to lose family, especially if they are killed.” I tell him quieter.

 

                      “What are you...Grand Cleric Elthina let that notice stay up there? And you say you’ve killed them all?!? I don’t know what to say...Thank you!” he says bewildered.

 

                      “Your welcome Sebastian,” I reply. 

 

                    He tilts his head in acknowledgement of my actions. "I will pay you better for this later after I've regained the throne from my incompetent cousin. For now, I'm off to the Keep to speak to the Viscount about getting aid from a fellow city. I will talk to you later, Hawke," he answers magnanimously. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a very love-hate relationship with Sebastian. On one hand, he is a very attractive man and it is fun to mess with him as a female. Even if you can't have a real relationship with him. And the brogue, yes please, more of that. On the other hand, he is a conceited ass who even though you help him out repeatedly, will ultimately betray you if you side with the mages and/or save Anders.


	6. The Deep Roads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawke finally is able to head to the Deep Roads with Bartrand Tethras, and takes Varric, Bethany and Anders. They explore a bit and then something happens that forever changes her relationship with Anders.

I continue taking the odd job around Kirkwall to make money for our trip to the Deep Roads. New people join our group of fighters and adventurers, and our party grows. Fenris is an escaped elven slave from Tevinter, trying his best to avoid his former master Danarius and start a life someplace new. He is a two-handed warrior just like me, although the enormous swords, axes, and clubs look even more gigantic on his lithe elven body. Varric nicknamed him Broody, a moniker that really fits him. He hates all mages, which makes things interesting with Bethany and Anders. He is beautiful but so full of rage that I’m not sure I could ever really be interested. Isabela, a rogue pirate captain without a ship, is on the run from a man named Castillon. She lost some important relic and now he is after her. She is also the most scantily clad and flirtiest woman I have ever met and will smooze pretty much anything that breathes. This includes me, and we flirt but are just friends. Besides she is doing her best to get in Fenris’s pants. Then there is sweet and innocent Merrill. Bethany and I met her after we returned the amulet from Flemeth, the witch who saved us outside of Lothering, to the Dalish elves. She is a mage of considerable power, but has been banished from her clan for practicing blood magic. Sometimes the things she says about demons really makes me worried.

 

Eventually I finally have the fifty sovereigns I need to talk to Bartrand. He is less than pleased to learn his brother Varric has been helping and encouraging us, though he is more receptive when I hand him the money to get the expedition going. He is also more understanding once I show him Anders’ Warden maps with entrances from the Free Marches.

 

                    “How did you find these...three, four entrances?” Bartrand remarks incredulously.

 

                    “A wizard did it,” says Anders sarcastically.

 

                   “Ok then, figure out who you want to bring you and let’s go,” Bartrand gruffly responds, eager to go out there and make some money.

 

I head to the Chantry to tell them I have some family business to attend to and will be back to the library in a month. I chose Anders, Bethany and Varric to go with me on the expedition. Mother interrupts us and begs me not to take Bethany, but I convince her that it’s the best way to protect her from the Templars. She begrudgingly agrees to let us go together. And so we’re off. We travel for about a week before running into a cave-in underground, which Bartrand responds to by yelling at everyone and calling them idiots. That’s a typical control freak response really. Bodahn, the dwarven merchant who has accompanied us into the Deep Roads comes to tell us that has lost his son, Sandal. He wandered off shortly after we stopped and Bodahn is sick with worry. Varric and I volunteer to scout ahead to see if we can find away around the cave-in, as well as try to find Sandal. We take Bethany and Anders with us. Varric has been complaining pretty much the whole time we’ve been down here about how much he hates being underground and his mood doesn’t improve once we come across a few bands of darkspawn, and even less so when the swarm of giant spiders attack.

 

                “Of all the things in Thedas, why did it have to be spiders?” I think to myself as we’re battling a Monstrous Spider, which has definitely earned its name. I shudder at the memory. Nothing like being covered with spider guts to completely distract you from everything else. I feel like I will never get the stench out of my clothes, especially as there is not a lot of fresh water down here to bathe in. We continue fighting our way through the caves until we turn a corner and come across Sandal, completely unharmed, surrounded by about ten dead darkspawn and a giant frozen ogre.

 

I can’t help but laugh at this ridiculous turn of events. Sandal, who was adopted by Bodahn after he found him wandering alone in the Deep Roads years before, is mostly mute. He’s a cheerful little fellow and is in love with enchanting, and has a real knack for it. In fact pretty much the only thing he ever says is “Enchantment!”. You can’t doubt his enthusiasm for it.

 

                   “Isn’t that Bodahn’s boy?” Varric enquires with a smirk.

 

                  “How did you do...all this?” I say, pointing at all the dead bodies.

 

                   Sandal holds out an enchanted stone and says, “Boom!”

 

                  “And that?” I indicate, gesturing to the frozen ogre.

 

                  “Not enchantment,” Sandal replies with a serious expression, shaking his head in the negative.

 

We take Sandal with us, as we know what happens when he is left to his own devices, and figure he will be safer this way. He stays at the back of the party with his enchanted stones. After fighting even more darkspawn, including another Ogre, we head into some small passages before finding a large open chamber. This, of course, is not empty either. A dragon with a horde of dragonlings inhabit the space and they viciously fight us for their territory. Bethany launches fireball after fireball at them, while Anders uses ice magic and heals us as needed. Varric shoots bolt after bolt at the little monsters from Bianca, his unique crossbow, and I lay the killing blow on the momma dragon. Finally they are vanquished. We scout a little bit ahead and realize we have finally found a way through the cave-in and rush back to tell Bartrand.

 

Once we have set up camp and rested a bit, we head over to where Bodahn and Sandal have set up shop. Bodahn thanks me heartily for saving his son and swears he will pay me back somehow. I tell him not to worry about it, as I was glad to help. Bethany wanders off for a little bit and comes back in a hurry to tell me she has found a natural hot spring nearby.

 

                   “Finally, a chance to get rid of a week’s worth of grime and fighting!” I exclaim, grabbing my bathing supplies and following her. “We’ll be back in about half an hour, Anders and Varric, then you can come use the springs,” I tell them. They nod and Bethany and I go in search of the springs.

 

I take off my breastplate, chainmail cuisse underneath the breastplate which extends down to right above my knees, greaves, and gauntlets. It feels good to have all the heavy armor off for awhile. It’s moments like this that I sometimes regret being a warrior. If I was a rogue or mage, this procedure would be a whole lot quicker. I am down to my blue undertunic and brown leather pants. I then take off my undertunic, pants, and undergarments and step into the springs, sinking in all the way down to my neck. After all these years living with my sister, and then this past year in the small house in Kirkwall with Mother and Uncle Gamlen, I am not shy about disrobing in front of her. I let out a loud sigh as I sink into the water, and I can hear Bethany doing the same not that far way.

                   “This is glorious! I thought I was never going to get the stench of those dead spiders off of me. Thanks so much for finding this sis!” I loudly proclaim to Bethany.

 

                   “Well, you were starting to reak worse a wet mabari, Breanna,” replies Bethany with a laugh, “I thought I would be doing everyone a favor.” I start splashing her in retaliation for her rude comment and it starts a splash fight, which we continue until we both start giggling uncontrollably, and have to stop. “It’s kind of crazy that the calmest we’ve been in a while is in the Deep Roads, completely surrounded by darkspawn and Maker knows what else,” she says with a smirk.

 

                  “I know, right?” I tell her, a twinkle in my eyes. I ease back into the water and we both just lay there enjoying our soak for awhile, before I sit up and say, “On to business,” and grab my bar of lavender soap and start washing off the filth from the last week. “Besides, I have no idea if we will find another spring like this down here. It’s definitely the first one I’ve seen.”

 

                 “You are right sister,” Bethany responds, quickly washing her body, and then rinsing out her clothes in the water. They are laying out to dry, and once they are, she puts them back on again. She sits on the bank next to me, and we are reminiscing about things back in Lothering and all the crazy things we’ve seen in Kirkwall over the past year.

 

I am standing waist high in the shallow water. I wash my hair and dunk my head in the water to rinse out the soap. I pull my head back out again and the water is coursing down my breasts in rivulets. I start soaping the top part of my body, and suddenly I hear Bethany say my name in a loud whisper. I turn around and freeze, as I immediately notice that Anders has come around the corner and has stopped in his tracks, looking right at me and my nakedness. I jerk my hands up to cover my breasts.

 

                “I’m sorry...I didn’t realize you weren’t finished,” his face turning red with embarrassment and something else I can’t quite identify. Could he be excited as well? He’s never shown much of an interest in me in that way before, other than casual flirting when we first met, and even then he tried his best to push me away.

 

            “It’s...It’s okay. Could I get a little more time to finish washing myself?” I query hesitantly, but with a half smile on my face. My heart is beating out of control, but I am trying my best to seem unperturbed.

 

                 “Yes of course,” replies Anders, turning to leave.

 

                “I will walk back with him. I want to talk to Varric anyways.” Bethany says, trying not to laugh at this turn of events.

 

 

They leave and I sit on the edge, leaning against a rock, a little flustered. I can’t decide if I’m mad at him for walking in on us or happy that he saw me and obviously liked what he saw. I will admit that I’m a little turned on at the thought of him seeing me half-naked. I sink a little lower until I’m sitting on the ground and run my hands down my chest, feeling my already hard nipples. This makes me moan a little out loud before I drop my hand lower to my pussy. I haven’t touched myself in forever as Gamlen’s house is very small and I never have any privacy sharing the three rooms with my family in close quarters. I think back to Anders and the way his eyes traveled over my flesh, drinking in my appearance and I get goose bumps all over my skin. I start circling my clit with my fingers and it is not long before I am wet.

I imagine that he takes my hand and helps me out of the water. He then runs his hands all over my wet naked body. He grabs my breasts and leans in for a fierce kiss, running his tongue all over mouth inside and out. I moan into his mouth and he smirks against my lips, taking my cue to explore more of my body. He sticks two fingers inside of me, while he rubs my clitoris with his thumb and starts sucking on my breasts, nipping at the delicate skin and biting on my nipples. I arch into him in my head and in reality, I does not take long after this to quickly cum on my fingers. I climb back into the hot spring and wash myself off quickly, putting my armor back on and grabbing my sword.

 

I head back to our little base and Varric raises his eyebrows, but doesn’t say anything as I return. I can’t believe I just got off to images of Anders in my head, as I’ve never really thought of him in that way, and my face turns completely red in response. I look at Anders quickly and he has an unreadable expression on his face.

  
                    I take a few calming breaths before saying, with a determined look on my face, “It’s all yours boys, but hurry up, I want to explore further in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first taste of smut in this story, and it was pretty fun to write as I could totally imagine it happening. 
> 
> I used the Plate Armor diagram on this page (http://www.medievalwarfare.info/armour.htm) as a guideline for the armor. I know technically there are a lot more parts of armor, especially across the chest and arms. For the sake of not making the armor undressing paragraph last forever, we’ll assume that the breastplate extends all the way down the chest, and the gauntlet extends from the hand all the way up to the elbow.


	7. The Idol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawke finds that blasted idol that screws everything up from here on out, and are screwed by Bartrand as a result. Bethany gets the Taint and has to be turned into a Grey Warden. Hawke falls for Anders a bit more.

Anders and Varric finish up rather quickly and head back to our group. We head into the ruins of ancient thaig, and this one looks completely different from anything Bartrand has ever seen. There are large spires of red lyrium everywhere and it makes the locale look rather ominous. We push ahead for a few hours, find a large room with an altar at the top of the stairs, and a strange looking idol laying on top. 

 

                      “What is that?” I ask my companions. It appears to be an idol made of pure lyrium, but it is red and glowing like all the spires surrounding us. 

 

                      “It is full of magic,” Anders warns, “And not the good kind.” I have a bad feeling about it, but I try to shake it off. 

 

                     Bartrand comes up behind us. Varric throws the idol to his older brother laughingly saying “Look, Bartrand! It’s made of pure lyrium, should be worth a fortune!”

 

                    Bartrand gets an odd gleam in his eye as he catches it and turns around, muttering almost to himself, “You may be right, little brother.” 

 

                   We are all taking a breather when suddenly I notice that Bartrand has accidently closed the door and scream “The door!” as we race towards it, only to have it slam in our faces.

 

                  Varric shouts, “Hey Bartrand, the door has closed!”

 

                 Bartrand lets out gruff chuckle and says “You always did notice everything, Varric,” but the door stays closed and locked. 

 

                “You’d screw over your brother for a lousy idol?!?” Varric shouts indignantly, banging on the door.

 

                “It’s not just the idol,” Bartrand responds severely, obviously walking away from us as he shouts, “The location of this thaig alone is worth a fortune, and I’m not splitting it three ways!” 

 

              “That nug-humping son of a bitch! Sorry Mother. Whenever we find a way out of here, I will personally kill him!” Varric yells after him, though Bartrand is oblivious to any comments made as he is long gone. 

 

We go out the other side of the room, and manage to find a way out. We fight our way through stone golems, shades, and these crazy rock creatures who eat red lyrium called the Profane. A demon tries to make a deal with us to not kill anymore of his creatures, but I know better than to tangle with a demon. We quickly get rid of him and move on. 

 

                After a while, Bethany stops me, saying “ I don’t feel well. Can we slow down?” and I’ll admit she looks a little off. Suddenly she just keels over and I say her name, rushing to her side to cradle her head. 

 

                 Anders stands in front of us and says “There might be something we can do.” He goes on to explain that he stole the maps from a Warden he found in Kirkwall and we could bring her to them. 

 

              “And do what exactly? Become a Grey Warden?” she inquires, her face getting more grey and her eyes more bloodshot. I can already see the black lines in her veins, just like Wesley looked before he succumbed to the Blight. 

 

                 “It’s not an easy life, trust me,” Anders tells her gravely, with a look of sadness in his eyes. 

 

                 “It just keeps sounding better and better,” I say with a scowl, “Though I don’t see any better options. 

 

                 “Then I hope I’m right,” Anders says quietly. 

 

We walk a little further and encounter more darkspawn and I charge ahead to head them off and keep them away from Bethany. Anders, who usually fights behind me as he is a mage, charges ahead of me and starts viciously killing the monsters. With his lighting and cold magic, he is a force to be reckoned with, and I feel a little thrill at the sight. Plus I know he is trying to protect Bethany too. We look up to see a Warden and a couple of mercenaries. 

 

                 “Anders?” an Orlesian male voice asks. 

 

               “Fancy meeting you here Stroud, “Anders replies back to him, with a little hesitancy in his tone. He had been running away from the Wardens before when we originally met him in Kirkwall and is not ready to go back with them, though Stroud may not know this. 

 

                  Anders explains the situation with Bethany and Stroud quickly but firmly responds, “We do not recruit Grey Wardens out of pity.” 

 

                I am a bit angered at this turn of events and Stroud's nonchalance about the whole situation, especially after losing both my father and brother in the last couple of years. “You’d be an idiot not to recruit her! She’s a very skilled mage,” I spout back at him. Bethany’s arm is slung across my shoulder and she is leaning heavily on me by this point. 

 

                  “This may be as much a death sentence as the sickness, and you know it Anders. ” Stroud replies, impatience evident in his voice. 

 

                 “She’ll die anyway,” Anders pleads with him, “Take her and try!”

 

                 Stroud huffs and says, “If the girl comes, she comes now. And you may not see her again.” He walks over to us.    
  


 

               “Then I guess this is it,” Bethany says quietly, looking right at me. I choke off a sob as I look at her. “Take care of Mother,” she instructs. 

 

                 Stroud takes control of her other arm and leads her away, as she looks sadly back at me. “What am I going to tell her?” I think to myself as I see Bethany’s retreating back.

 

 

Anders, Varric, and I keep walking, trying to find a way out. After a few more hours, we come to what would’ve been the Dwarven treasury, which we discover is guarded by a massive Rock Wraith and his Profane cohorts. It takes forever to kill the creature, but I finally manage to jump up and drive my sword through his skull. 

 

              “Rock Wraiths were supposed to be a dwarven legend. They weren’t even supposed to be real?!” says Varric afterwards.

 

             “Looked pretty real to me,” I retort snarkily, wiping my brow.   
  


           “Who cares? Look at what it was guarding. This is should be more than Bartrand will ever get for that idol. See if we can find a key to that door over there and a way out of here,” he exclaims. We do manage to find a key and finally get out of the thaig. We are walking for another hour before we see a path straight through the Deep Roads. Varric turns to me and says “Looks like this is our way out. If we’re unlucky it will take a week to get out of here.”

 

              “And if we’re lucky?” I ask.

  
             “We’ll stumble over Bartrand’s corpse on the way out,” Varric replies grimly. 


	8. Trouble Back in Kirkwall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawke moves up in the world, gets ordered to help out with the Qunari by Viscount Dumar, and everything starts to go wrong in Kirkwall.

Thankfully it only takes a few days to get back and then I have the unfortunate job of telling Mother what happened to Bethany. She collapses on the floor, sobbing into her hands, and Gamlen stoops to collect her. I know she blames me for this, I blame myself too. I don’t have time to wallow in grief though. I quickly buy the Amell house in Hightown from the money we earned from the expedition and am finally able to move Mother out of Lowtown and away from Uncle Gamlen. I am still mad at him for having lied about our grandparents and Mother’s inheritance. Not that I cared about the money, I am just glad that they did not die hating us.  Mother occupies herself by refurbishing the entire house and buying us a new wardrobe. I get brand new armor and a new sword, and spend my spare time resupplying our home library. 

 

I decide to keep my job at the Chantry library but cut my hours back to two hours, three times a week. That way I can still borrow books and help them out, but I now have a lot more responsibilities to take care in conjunction with the mansion and newfound duties to the Viscount. On my way out, I see Sebastian arguing with Grand Cleric Elthina and head over to say hello. She knows we are acquaintances as she’s seen us talking in the Chantry when I was working. Elthina asks me to talk to him, and throws her hands up in frustration, walking away. Apparently, he’s vowed to commit himself to the Chantry again, as he had temporarily left before after he learned of his family’s deaths. Elthina thinks he is being fickle and indecisive, and I secretly agree. 

 

                “I’ve discovered who is behind my family’s assassination. The Harrimans, a local Hightown family in Kirkwall. They knew my family and were one of their biggest supporters and friends. I need to speak to Lady Harriman and ask her why she ordered their execution. I could use your help, Hawke, if you would assist me again,” he says gravely. 

 

                 “Of course,” I reply. 

 

                “I will join you in your endeavors until then,” Sebastian confirms. 

 

It seems that while I was gone, the Arishok, leader of the Qunari, asked for me by name. They are living in an area, by the docks, given to them by Viscount Dumar when they first arrived in the city. He needed someplace to contain them, well as much as they could be contained. The Viscount can’t seem to figure out why the Arishok would ask specifically for me, as I’ve only just made a name for myself when I reclaimed the Amell ancestral home. I think back to the job I did involving them before the Deep Roads, with that tricksy dwarf Javaris Tintop who wanted  _ gaatlock,  _ their explosive fuse-less powder. I tell him that I assisted them in the past. He wants me to resolve the situation as quickly as possible. So I head there with Varric, Sebastian, and Fenris. I discovered Fenris could speak Qunlat, the Qunari language, the last time we went to see the Arishok, so he seems pretty vital for this mission. I’m guessing it’s from his time in Seheron, the Qunari island that the Tevinters and Qunari have been fighting over for the past eighty years. Plus it is always nice to have another warrior in my party, gives us a more intimidating presence, which since we are facing the Qunari is rather essential. 

 

Those big horny bastards don’t quiver in anyone’s presence, least of all a petite human female warrior. And the Arishok is the biggest Qunari I’ve ever seen with a massive chest and four horns coming out of his head. With his rumbling dangerously low voice and an even bigger temper, he is very menacing. During this meeting with the the Arishok, we discover that he believes that Javaris has again attempted to steal their  _ gaatlock _ , but instead has stolen a poisonous gas called  _ saar-qamek,  _ which can damage Qunari and kill any humans that inhale it. We track down Javaris with the help of the Coterie, the local thieves guild, and kill the mercenaries protecting him. He tells us it wasn’t him but “that damn elf” that set him up, using him as cover to make her escape. 

 

The elf went back into Lowtown, and the city guard has up a perimeter around an alleyway as people were already coughing, then vomiting to death from inhaling the fumes of the  _ saar-qamek.  _ We fight off more mercenaries sent to kill us as we run around trying to seal the barrels of the poison. Finally the architect of the plan comes out, an elven female pissed off at the Qunari for indoctrinating her brother into the Qun. With help from Fenris, I get rid of her quickly and leave to go talk to the Arishok again. It seems he was wrong about Javaris, but he doesn’t care about the elf. We do find out that he is not planning on leaving until he recovers a holy artifact that was stolen from the Qunari, and we rush back to the Viscount to tell him the grim news.  

 

Viscount Dumar is not surprised by the news. There have been rumblings from several Anti-Qunari groups who think they are blasphemers for not following the Andrastian faith, and more than a few skirmishes between the two groups. To make matters worse, the Qunari sent a delegate to the Viscount’s office and they were immediately abducted, literally from his doorstep. It turns out the guards were paid off by a Templar with the Grand Cleric’s seal and I know immediately who to ask. Sister Petrice, that conniving bitch of a Chantry sister we met before Anders, Varric, Bethany and I left for the Deep Roads. Sebastian is trying his hardest to convince me that we can’t rely on a drunken guard’s account of what happened, but I know better. 

  
The first time we met Sister Petrice, we had escorted a  _ saarebas,  _ a Qunari mage that she had found, out of the city. Of course, we were immediately ambushed by a battalion of the Qunari, who blamed us for the death of the  _ saarebas’s _ unit. I should’ve known. It always seems like we’re walking into a giant trap when dealing with any fringe elements in Kirkwall. Varric, Sebastian, Fenris and I head to the Chantry to talk to Sister Petrice, who apparently has been promoted to Mother Petrice in the three years since we saw her last. We’ve caught her in a lie and she knows it, so she gives up her trump card, i.e. her crony Templar, Ser Varnell. She tells us that he is responsible, so we head to Darktown to find his little Anti-Qunari rally. As soon as we announce our presence and challenge him, he kills his Qunari prisoners and attacks. It is a hard fought battle as he throws wave after wave of fanatics on us, but we finally prevail and go get the Viscount to tell him the news, yet again. I urge Viscount Dumar to tell the Arishok the truth, rather than try to hide the desecration of the bodies, as I know how much he values honesty. This will hopefully quiet down tension with the Qunari, at least for a little while. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much straight up story line chapter. More interesting personal chapters are upcoming, I promise.


	9. Can't Sleep Love (Anders POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally we get to see what Anders really thinks of Breanna Hawke and how he's been falling hard for her.

I’ve known her for nearly a year and I can’t get her out of my head. We’ve become pretty good friends in that time. We see each other pretty much every day, whether it’s her bringing me along as the healer on one of her missions to get rid of bandits or saving some mages from capture by the Templars. Sometimes she’ll just come through her basement to talk to me about a scholarly work she’s found in the Chantry library or to bring me food. I don’t eat as well as I should, mostly because taking care of refugees doesn’t pay well and also because I love what I do and don’t always ask for anything in return. Some nights she will physically drag me out of the clinic to take me to one of Varric’s nightly Wicked Grace games, and I’ll protest that I’m backed up and need to make healing potions for the next day, but secretly I’m thrilled that she even thinks of me and wants me to accompany her.

I told her originally I didn’t want to get involved with her because I would only hurt her. I know I shouldn’t get involved with her at all because of Justice and the mess he makes of my thoughts and actions, but it’s getting harder each time she comes by. She is so smart, stunning, and damn good at defending herself with that massive greatsword she manages to carry despite her tiny frame. Plus she’s fabulous at rolling with the punches and dealing with whatever Kirkwall throws at her, whether that is broody mage-hating elves, giant Qunaris, or calculating nobles. I admire her determination to save her family no matter the crap the Maker seems content to constantly throw her way, first with the death of her father and brother so close together and then with having to live as an outcast Ferelden refugee for a year with her slimy uncle Gamlen and working as an indentured servant to that smuggler Athenril.

That horrific trip to the Deep Roads changed everything about how I feel towards her. Have I mentioned how much I hate the bloody Deep Roads?!? I was thankful that I there to protect her as best I could, despite her losing her sister to the Wardens due to the damnable taint. Of course, that was also when I saw a new side of her...literally. I have never wanted someone more than after I accidently walked in on her taking a bath in the hot springs and saw her semi-naked body. I think my brain short-circuited for a minute as I gaped and stared at that beautiful curvy flesh, her magnificent breasts and body, that she keeps completely hidden under all that heavy armor. Her breasts were the perfect handful of creamy white globes with lovely dusty pink nipples, which had obviously crinkled under my blatant observation, and it was all I could not to adjust myself in front of her as I could feel myself becoming incredibly aroused.

Thank the Maker she spoke first because I had completely lost the ability to speak or even form a coherent thought. Bethany volunteered to come with me, and I could see she was heartily amused by this turn of events, even though I was silent as the grave with my thoughts. I had to go off and sort out my feelings. Was she my friend or did I want something more? How long was I going to deny myself any sort of happiness because of my circumstances?

  


I have been sitting on the floor of my clinic all morning sorting through my stores of supplies, and making a list of what plants I will need to make my next batch of healing potions and salves. She comes into the clinic wearing a ¾ length sleeved midnight blue dress with silver embroidery that clung to all her curves like a second skin, flaring slightly at the hips to end in a flounce right above her knees, and knee-high brown leather boots. “Andraste’s ass, woman, what are you trying to do to me!” I scream inside my head, and it is all I could do to not have my eyes bug out of my head in surprise, as I ogle her beautiful body. She hardly ever wears dresses, so seeing her look so feminine and out of armor is a bit of a surprise. Merrill and Isabela are accompanying her and they all carry baskets of plants, and Isabel’s eyebrows raise at my seemingly non-reaction. Julia is almost completely oblivious to anything I may or may not have been doing or thinking.

“Hi Anders! I noticed last time I was here that you were running low on supplies, and Merrill was heading out to the Planacene Forest outside of the city to bask in the lush greenness of the forest, after being stuck in the Alienage for so long. So I asked if Isabela could come too and all three of us went together. We found this lovely waterfall to picnic next to and had a quick swim because the weather was so lovely today. Afterwards, we went to gather freshly picked elfroot, embrium, spindleweed, and deep mushrooms that grew in the forest.”

I think back to her last trip in the water in the Deep Roads and end up grinning up at her like an idiot, and reply “Thanks Hawke, I was literally just looking at my supplies and thinking that I would need to make a plant run soon. You saved me the trouble.” I’ve rarely taken any time off between the clinic and my dealings with the mage underground so it would’ve been a bit of a hassle to make the trip anyways.

Thank the Maker I am sitting down so she can’t see my physical reaction to the mental image of them possibly swimming naked together in the pool under the waterfall. I don’t care so much about Merrill, but I’ve seen Isabela naked from that one time in the Pearl in Denerim during one of my many escape attempts from the Circle, and part of Hawke from the Deep Roads trip.  These days it doesn’t take much for me to get excited, as I’ve not been with anyone since Karl and that was over two years ago.

But then I look over at Isabela, and I can see the gears turning in her head as she saunters over to Hawke, putting her arms around Hawke’s waist, hugging her back into her ample chest. “Isn’t she just beautiful in this color, Anders?” Isabela purrs at me from behind Hawke.

I grit my teeth, knowing she’s just being a tease because she can get away with touching Hawke a lot more than I ever could. “Yes, that color really brings out your eyes,” I say looking straight in Hawke’s eyes and ignoring Isabela completely. She turns completely red in the face and I can feel mine heating up as well, but I refuse to let that minx get the best of me.

“Thank...thank you, Anders,” she stammers and goes across the room to put the plants into the drawers where I keep all my potion making supplies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok totally borrowed the name of the chapter from the Pentatonix song of the same name because I feel like this is how Anders feels when he’s around Hawke, or at the very least what he wishes he had (i.e. love so good you can’t go to sleep, that you don’t mind being awake for).


	10. Dissent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breanna tries to look after Anders (goodness knows he never does himself) and helps Anders find out what Ser Alrik is really up to and how many people are involved with "The Tranquil Solution". Anders nearly kills someone and Breanna has to go calm him down.

I decide not think about Kirkwall falling apart around me. Instead, I head to Anders’ clinic by myself to bring him a basket of bandages, wine, and food. I’ve been so busy lately, I haven’t seen him in weeks. I do keep finding copies of his Manifesto on _The Treatment of Mages_ scattered all over my mansion in Hightown, however, so he is always in my thoughts. I know he doesn’t always eat, putting in all those late hours at the clinic and working so hard. The last time I was at his clinic he complimented me and I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it, as it is so rare for him to say anything like that to me. He is in the middle of healing a boy’s broken arm, so I step back against the wall and wait for him.

After awhile, he finally stops and sits down, waiting for his mana to regenerate. He puts his head in his hands and breathes deeply. I can see the dark grey circles under his eyes, which tell me how little sleep he has been getting. The child’s parents thank him profusely and promise to come back in a week for a checkup, and he gives them a small smile. His grin widens when he looks over and notices me. I stand up and walk towards him with my basket of goodies.

“I demand you stop and take a break,” I order him, and then say in a softer tone, “You seem exhausted, Anders. You need to take care of yourself before you can can take care of everyone else.”

He laughs quietly and says, “You’re right, sometimes it is nice being taken care of and I’m starving anyways.” He tears into the bread and cheese like he hasn’t eaten in days, which he probably hasn’t, and drinks the wine straight from the bottle. He offers me some and I smile, thinking this is almost an indirect kiss, but quickly banish the thought from my mind as I take a sip.

After he’s been eating for awhile, he becomes more serious and tells me, “It’s not just the clinic that has been wearing me down and eating away at me.” He pauses for a moment, before continuing: “Have you noticed how many Tranquil there are at the Gallows courtyard lately? And don’t tell I’m just being sensitive to it. I’ve been watching and every day there are new Tranquil selling their bloody wares. People I know passed their Harrowing.”

“Wait, isn’t it illegal to do that to mages?” I enquire. “I think I remember Father telling me that when I was little.” 

“Exactly,” he says with vehemence in his voice. “The Templars are using the Rite of Tranquility on anyone who speaks against them. They are working on a deliberate plan to turn every mage in Kirkwall within the next three years.” 

I am a little incredulous about this, and respond “Surely even the Templars are this heartless…”

“They’re worse!” he cuts me off. “There are groups in Kirkwall helping people flee the Circle. I’ve talked to people on the inside. The plan is the work of a templar named Ser Alrik. He’s a particularly nasty piece of work, and likes to make mages beg.” He pauses for a moment before continuing, still angry, “He’s the one who made Karl Tranquil and I’ve had a run-in with him myself.”

I am suddenly fearful for Anders, and urgently ask him, “What happened between you and Ser Alrik?!?”

He can hear the fear in my voice and says a little quieter and a bit hesitantly, like he’s still not sure if he can trust me: “I’ve been involved with...an underground resistance. Mages living free in Kirkwall who help other mages escape. I can’t tell you anymore for your sake and theirs. You have too much involvement with the guard and nobility...Suffice it to say, I’ve been in the Gallows. I’ve seen his work firsthand.”

“What else do you know about Ser Alrik?” I enquire earnestly.

He replies disgustedly, “Ser Alrik is a sadist. He likes to experiment on mages, find out what it takes to push them into the arms of demons.” 

The bastard, I think to myself. It’s a damn good thing the Templars never caught Bethany because I’m not sure I could control myself if they tried anything like that on her. “Don’t Templars have anything better to do than come up with new ways to torture mages?” I feel repulsed at the idea of Ser Alrik and his “experiments”. 

Anders replies emphatically, “No”. He looks back and forth around the clinic before moving a bit closer, and leaning into to confide with me, “My friends in the mage underground know a way in. A secret entrance under the walls of the Gallows. Come with me tonight, please! Help me find evidence of Ser Alrik’s ‘Tranquil Solution’.”

I am confused for a minute before I enquire, “What do you mean, “Tranquil Solution”?”

Disgust creeps into his voice again, while he harshly says, “That’s what he calls it. His idea of a ‘peaceful’ solution to the mage problem - to make every mage in the Free Marches Tranquil. I’ve been told he’s bringing his proposal to the Divine in Val Royeaux. He wants to turn every mage in Thedas into a drooling simpleton under his command.”

“We must expose this plan if it actually exists,” I reply boldly.

His face softens as he approves of my sentiment, saying “I’m honored by your trust.”

“Of course, I trust you,” I stammer, my face turning red. He smiles at my reaction and chuckles to himself.

 

I take Varric, Isabela, and Anders with me, and we walk to the other end of Darktown. We soon find the tunnel leading down to the secret Gallows entrance. Kirkwall used to be the headquarters of the Tevinter slave trade. It’s crazy to think that the Gallows used to be an old slave prison, as that is pretty much how the Templars treat the mages, like jailors to their prisoners. The twisting passages are filled with Dwarven Carta mercenaries and lyrium smugglers, and we fight our way through them - Anders turning them to ice so I can smash through, cleaving them in twain with my greatsword. We  finally turn a corner and see Ser Alrik. He is threatening an escaped mage that he and his Templar men have discovered. Poor girl, she is scared out of her mind and Ser Alrik is threatening to make her Tranquil. He even sounds like one of those Templars that takes advantage of girls in the Circle, using them for his own perverse pleasure.

His threats make my hand drift down to my sheathed sword. “The Chantry frowns on Templars that take personal advantage of their charges,” I shout out, venom in my voice and my eyes narrowed.

“Who’s this?” Ser Alrik retorts, looking confused at us.

“It’s the Divine coming all the way from Orlais to tell you what a jackass you are,” Varric tells him next, also pissed off at this chauvinist pig.

 

Meanwhile, blue light starts pouring off Anders’ whole body, his eyes start glowing blue, and his voice changes completely. This has happened one time before, when Varric and I first met him, and we were trying to rescue his friend Karl from the Templars. I can’t say I’m surprised as I know how much anger Anders feels towards them for his mistreatment during his years in and out of the Circle. Justice always does seem to appear whenever the cause is something to do with the exploitation of mages.

“You fiends will never touch another mage again,” Justice commands menacingly, as he has obviously taken over now.

Then all hell breaks loose. We start attacking the Templars and visa versa. Swords clash in the small space as Templar Hunters attack us and Isabela and I retaliate, swords and daggers flashing. Varric is launching bolts at them from behind us with Bianca, and Justice is using Anders’ lightning to bring down a tempest upon their heads.  Ser Alrik is a hard bastard to kill, mostly due to the sheer number of Templars with him, but finally we manage to. The young mage girl has been frozen in place since we burst in, and she cowers as Justice, in Anders’ body, looms over her, swinging his staff around.

 

“They will die, I will have every last one of them for these abuses,” Justice fumes.

“Calm down, Anders. They’re all dead, it’s over,” I try to get through to him, as this version of Anders is scaring me.

“Every one of them will feel Justice’s burn!” he bellows, getting closer to the mage.

“Get away from me, demon!” she screams, shielding her face with her hands, her body bending over in a meek attempt at protection.

“I am no demon. Are you one of them, that you would call me such?” he demands, getting even closer.

“Anders, that girl is a mage! We rescued her from being made Tranquil, remember?” I ask him frantically loud, trying to break through to him.

“She’s theirs! I can feel their hold on her,” he responds, getting angrier.

“She’s the reason you’re fighting, Anders. Don’t turn on her now,” I plead, my hand gripping his shoulder.

“Please, messere,” she begs, going down on her knees in front of him.

Justice raises his arm back like he is about to strike her with his magic, lightning crackling and pouring out of his left hand, when suddenly there is a blinding flash of blue light. The next thing I know Anders is stumbling backwards, clutching his head with both hands, and falling to the ground. The mage girl screams and runs away.

His voice is shaky and scared as he says, “Maker, no, I almost...if you weren’t here...I need to get out of here,” and runs out of the tunnel.

 

I search Ser Alrik’s body and find a letter that the Divine has written to him from Orlais, saying she does not support his proposal, and neither does Knight Commander Meredith. Varric, Isabela, and I exit the tunnel back into Darktown and head back to Anders’ clinic. On the way there, we run into the mage girl and assure her that the whole thing with Anders was an elaborate joke to prevent her from ever talking to demons and that she should get out of the city with her parents. She assents and leaves.

 

Anders is frantically sorting through papers when we get there, I’m sure just trying to do anything to take his mind off what almost happened. “You’re upset, we need to talk about it,” I say to him gently.

“Upset doesn’t even begin to cover it,” he says with contempt, before becoming mournful and continuing, “You were the only thing keeping me from murdering an innocent girl. It’s all gone wrong. Justice and I. We’re just a monster, same as any abomination.”

I can see that his spirit is crushed, but I tell him calmly, “You were out of control, but even then you heard what I was saying. You knew in your heart that you had to stop.” I want to give him a hug or something, but I hold back, not sure how he will take it.

“You have too much faith in me,” he replies sadly. “Without you, I’d never have known who was there until it was too late. How can I fight for the freedom of mages, when I am the worst of what that freedom brings?”

“You should make yourself a good example then, the proof that you can control your powers,” I explain emphatically.

“I don’t know how... How can I trust myself to heal anyone anymore? What if that...creature of vengeance turns on someone while I am healing them? Will I be able to resist?” he asks me, not expecting an answer.

 

“This is all Ser Alrik had. Looks like the “Tranquil Solution” began and ended with him,” I say, handing him the papers. He is very surprised and shocked that neither the Divine nor Meredith supported his idea. He decides that he will talk to the Grand Cleric to see her viewpoint on all of this.

  
“Thank you for your help. I will think on what you said,” he tells me, walking away lost in his own thoughts. I breathe a sigh of relief, and head back to my house in Hightown to think about everything that has happened tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes the majority of the dialogue is taken straight from the game. It’s pretty crucial stuff though, as it relates directly with Anders and his fight for mage freedom, and that’s why I incorporated it (belongs to Bioware). The line from Varric is one of my favorites in the game, so I had to include it.
> 
> Thanks again to HQuinn for helping me edit it, even after I originally posted it. It looks way better!


	11. First Kiss (Anders POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breanna Hawke is wounded while hunting bandits with Anders, Fenris and Varric. Anders is afraid he will lose her and they finally share their first kiss.

Hawke, Fenris, Varric and I head to the Wounded Coast. Aveline had heard from Lieutenant Jevan, that Evets’ Marauders were ramping up their attacks on merchants traveling through the area and even assaulted the Viscount’s Keep two years back to rescue one of their own imprisoned there. She asked Hawke if she could help with the bandits, so here we are heading out to the coast to stop them. We made our way down the cliffs to the shoreline where we met up with a group of Aveline’s guards pinned down behind some rocks. As soon as one of the guards stood up to check the enemy’s position, an arrow whistled through the air, hitting their neck and taking them down with a gurgle.

“No fair getting help, guard dog” the leader of the raiders teases out loud to Lieutenant Harley, the leader of the guardsman.

“Shut your mouth!” she screams back in frustration at them. She is sweating in her plate armor as she tries to make her body as small as possible so as not to be a target for the enemy’s archers, which is hard to do in heavy armor, especially as other guards are getting hit left and right all around her. “Are you our reinforcements?” she says to us hopefully.

“Not officially,” and Lieutenant Harley’s face starts to fall, but Hawke hastens to add “However, your Guard Captain did tell us about the situation here and we came to help.”

“Thank Andraste! They’ve got us pinned. We’ve tried two sorties up the path already, but we’re trapped. I would love to just get out of here alive at this point.” Lieutenant Harley responds with a sigh.

Hawke quickly accesses the situation and determines that the thing the guards need most is encouragement. “C’mon men! We can work together to do this, and besides the longer we wait, the more of us they will kill,” Hawke answers. The guards perk up at her words of encouragement and steel themselves for the upcoming fight. “Let’s go,” she yells, raising her greatsword in the air and charging towards the bandits.

 

Hawke, Fenris, Varric and I take the center path, watching out carefully for the traps that litter the path, and the guards take the right side. Hawke immediately heads for Fell Orden, the blood mage and leader of the group, with her broadsword swinging in a huge arch towards his body. Varric, Fenris and I content ourselves with picking off all the rogues, archers and warriors that radiate from the mage in an expanding circle. Varric fires bolt after bolt from Bianca, and Fenris mows them down with his two-handed blade, putting all his weight behind the swings. I put a lightning storm right above their heads picking off as many as I can, and throw fireballs at the ones I don’t reach the first time.

The battle is over pretty quickly once all of us are fighting. I look over to where Hawke was standing and realize that she’s keeled over and collapsed on the ground. “Hawke!” I scream and rush to her side. “Where are you injured?” I plead, desperately searching her from the outside of her armor to locate where she might be hurt. Suddenly I find an arrow sticking out from underneath her left arm between her chest plate and pauldrons and it is tipped with what I think is Deathroot Toxin, and a particularly nasty blend at that. “Maker’s Breath, Hawke! How long have you had this?!?” I say in a panic.

She can barely keep her eyes open, but weakly answers me, “Since we tried to kill that blood mage, Fell Orden. One of his archers must’ve gotten a shot in while I was finishing him off.” She promptly faints and I manage to catch her head before it hits the ground. I quickly realize I can’t move her by myself in this heavy armor.

Even though I hate asking anything of that mage-hating elf, I need his help. “Will you please help me move Hawke back to my clinic?” I say with a slight panic in my eyes. He nods swiftly and we quickly make our way back to Darktown. We lay her across one of the cots and I go rifling through my potions to find some poison antidote and some lyrium potions. “I need everyone to get out, so I have room to work. Can one of you go tell Leandra what happened? After Hawke is stabilized, we’ll move her to her room in Hightown.” I tell Varric and Fenris a bit harshly in my distress.

Fenris looks at me with a mixture of frustration and worry, but goes to deliver the message. I know he also has feelings for Hawke, though he has never vocalized them either. I’ve seen the way he looks at her when he thinks no one is looking. I usher them both outside the clinic door and get to work by undoing the buckles that hold together her breastplate, chainmail cuisse, greaves, gauntlets, and undertunic. She is lying unconscious in her brown leather pants and breastband. I have to take off her shirt to get at the wound easier. I try not to think about the fact that she is nearly naked and focus on healing her.

 

I start by giving her the antidote first and then pouring my healing magic into her body, starting with a Lifeward spell to protect her from dying and then a Revival spell to raise her from unconsciousness and restore her health. Soon there is a small pile of empty lyrium potions behind me and I slump over completely drained of mana and energy.

Hawke is asleep but recovering. She still has a fever but her color has returned to her cheeks and she looks more like herself and less deathly pale. I asked my assistant Valerie for a bowl of cool water and some towels, and she brings them back to the cot. I set the bowl down on a small table next to the cot and dipped the cloth inside. I dabbed her forehead with the cool cloth, moving her sweat-soaked hair away from her eyes.

I reached down and grabbed her hand, and held it to my cheek. I let out breath of relief that I didn’t realize I was holding in and quietly exclaim, “Thank the Maker you’re alright.” I cross my arms on the edge of the cot and lay my head down on top of them in sheer exhaustion and sigh, my head leaning into my arms.

She shifts in her sleep and slowly opens her eyes. “Anders? Where am I? What happened? I remember being on the coast fighting bandits and then...nothing.”

I awake with a jolt when I hear her voice, groggy for a second before I reply: “Hawke you were shot with a poisoned arrow and I was so afraid that I would lose you. I never want to feel that way again, at least not without doing this first.” I lean in to kiss her gently, grabbing the back of her head with my right hand. Her lips are so warm and soft, and she tastes of cinnamon and honey. She pulls away for a second, just looking at me and bites her lip, deciding something. She then grabs my head and pulls me back down to her again. She places her hands on both sides of my face as our lips meet for a second time and she runs her tongue along the seam of my lips before diving inside, exploring every inch of my mouth. I pour myself into this kiss, as I believe she may feel something for me. I have to pull away first so I can breath again as I haven’t been the past few moments. I have been waiting so long for this moment, and I take in large mouthfuls of air.

 

Justice makes his presence known immediately. “This is a bad idea, Anders. She will just confuse you and our mission to help the mages in Kirkwall.” He is demanding his words be heard in my foggy head.

  
“I don’t care. I have been wanting this forever and Maker’s Balls Justice, I deserve some bloody happiness after everything I’ve been through the last few years,”  I tell him in my head.

**Author's Note:**

> I know everyone always poo poos Dragon Age II for not being as good as the first or third games, but I adore it. Yeah, it’s depressing as hell, but it has good character development and they are all really memorable. Plus it is just fun to play. 
> 
> I picked Breanna because the name means “noble, strong, and virtuous,” which is a pretty accurate view of how I feel about my main character.


End file.
